A Letter to My Home Church

Dear Home Church:

What I write in this letter has been brewing in my mind for several weeks. As I’ve returned to the States and begun to resettle and readjust, I’ve noticed that there are some things that need to be addressed. You might think that I’m writing this letter to point out all the flaws that I see in the American Church after spending time overseas. After all, that’s usually the content of letters like these. But that is not the case. No, in reality, I am writing this letter to admit some flaws in myself. I am writing to thank you, to ask for your forgiveness, to make a promise, and to ask for help.

I want to begin with a confession. Coming home, I had expectations about who would be interested in hearing about my time in Asia. But rather than expressing that I wanted to share with you, I have withdrawn and hidden. I’ve hoped that someone would seek me out. But how can you seek me out when I am hiding and you don’t know that I have returned? My thought process doesn’t even make sense to myself. I want to share with you, I really do. But I get overwhelmed with all the people around me. I fear that you won’t actually want to hear what I want to share. I don’t know where to start in sharing. So I hesitate to stay late after service. I’m reluctant to go to college group. I avoid eye contact. But here is the part that doesn’t make sense: I then get bitter because no one is seeking me out to hear about my trip.

I am sorry for my judgmental attitude. I am sorry for the bitterness. I am sorry for withdrawing and hiding. Will you forgive me?

Next I want to thank you. Thank you for your love and support both while I was gone and now that I have returned. Thank you for welcoming me back with open arms. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of serving you for as long as Jesus has me here. Thank you for praying for me. It brings tears to my eyes when someone welcomes me home with the phrase: “I’ve been reading your updates and praying for you.” Thank you so, so much for your support and love. I am beyond grateful for each member of this church family who has been a part of making it possible for me to follow the Lord overseas. Thank you.

Now for my promise. I don’t have any idea how long God will have me here. I don’t know when he will take me on another journey overseas. But for however long God has me planted at this church, in this city, I promise to serve. I promise to be involved. I have spent the last four weeks reluctant to get involved, but I promise that this will change. I will reach out to others in my church family. I will love. I will take opportunities to serve when they are thrown my direction. I promise to do my best to build up the body of Christ that I am a part of.

Finally, my request. I need your help as I seek to live out the promise I just made to you. I don’t want to let bitterness and judgement cloud my vision and my ability to serve. If you see those things in me, please call me out. Correct me, admonish me, and lovingly point me back to Jesus. I don’t have this all figured out. There will be days where I seem distant, as hard as I try not to be. Please don’t withdraw. Help me to see the ways that I can serve you, my church family, as a whole and individually. Please extend grace when I fail, reaching out a hand to help me back up when I stumble.

I pray that this next season, however long it lasts, will be a fruitful time of serving together for His kingdom.

Blessings,
Bethany