A Thousand Scattered Thoughts

I’ve started and stopped about fifteen blog posts in the last week. I’m having a hard time even getting this one past the first few sentences.

The problem is not that there is nothing to write about. On the contrary, there are so many possible things I could write about…and nothing that I can form into coherent sentences yet.

Should I write about how I’m having a really hard time trusting God’s plan and provision right now?

How about the ways that I see history repeating itself in our world right now?

My frustration with Christians who are saying one thing and living another way?

A post debriefing the turmoil I feel after reading a chapter in Jemar Tisby’s Color of Compromise?

Or should I write about what I’m learning about redemptive living…and the inner conflict it is causing for me?

Should I write about what it feels like to have your best friend living across the globe?

How about the questions about Christian ethics and justice that keep coming up?

A reaction to the heart-wrenching books I just finished reading about Afghanistan?

A letter of gratitude to my mom, who sits through long conversations with me that are basically just me ranting and processing out loud about all of this?

An abundance of potential topics isn’t the only problem. With a list like that I make it sound like I could write six hundred words or more about each of those topics. But the truth is I can barely string words together into sentences (my brother accused me of not being fluent in English the other day…and he couldn’t have been closer to the truth!). I have some questions, but mostly half-formed questions. Nothing coherent. Certainly nothing logical. If you were inside my brain right now, you’d probably want out as soon as possible. It would be overwhelming.

I have a thousand scattered thoughts, and no idea how to start writing any of them down.