I hate waiting. Seriously. Unknowns are not my friend. I like having all my ducks in a row, I like having my plan all written out. I don’t like changing plans, and I don’t like not knowing what is coming next. (I wrote about this in more detail in a recent post)
But here I am. Waiting. Unknowns loom ahead of me.
A wise friend of mine reminded me last week that this is a good place for me to be. Seasons of waiting grow and develop and strengthen trust in God. I know that he is right, but I still don’t like being here in this season of waiting.
The thing I like the least abut being in this time of waiting is being unable to answer questions. I get at least two questions a week that are something along the lines of: “when are you going to go to Asia?” And my answer has to be: “I don’t know.” And I hate saying that.
This past week was an especially sad and hard week. I was originally supposed to be in Asia as I type this. Instead, I’m waiting for another phone call, and another phone call, and another phone call. With each phone call I feel like my time of waiting is extending. I’m still here, in SoCal.
I’m having a really hard time being here in this time of waiting, being content with where God has me, and waiting patiently for him to move things along in his timing.
I’ve been studying the book of Habakkuk. In the middle of the book, God tells Habakkuk that he needs to wait patiently for the judgment to come on the enemies of Israel. “If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay” (Habakkuk 2:3).
I finished my study of the book last week, and my key takeaway/application was that I need to wait patiently and quietly for God to work. He has a plan, and I know in my head that this is true. But it is getting my heart to believe it that is the hard part. I want answers, and I want them now, but I need to trust God’s timing.
And I know that some day, I’ll look back at this season and see how it all worked out perfectly. But that doesn’t mean I like it while I’m here.