My husband and I were long-distance for ten months before we got married. Ten long, hard months of being apart. Being married has been sweet, especially after the distance.
In reflecting on those months, I stopped to ponder what our long distance relationship should have taught me about the gospel. I say “should have” because in the moment I didn’t want to learn anything…I just wanted the waiting to be over and to be with my husband. But if I had stopped to think about it during those months apart, I think I might have asked myself this question: If marriage is designed to be a picture of the gospel, then how does the longing, waiting, and anticipating of a long-distance relationship (particularly the six months of our engagement) point to gospel truths?
In the six months we were engaged, we saw each other in person three times before the week of the wedding: the weekend he proposed (November), a few days in January, a few days in March. When he started driving down from Oregon to California for the wedding, I could think of almost nothing else. Where was he? What city was he passing through? Had he stopped for lunch? What was his ETA? When I knew it was getting close to time for him to arrive, I went out to the curb in front of the house and waited for him (literally, I sat down on the curb in front of my parents’ house and watched for his car). I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of my fiancé.
Over those months of long distance, I longed for him. I often told him that I wished he was there so he could give me a big hug. I thought of him constantly. I wanted to communicate everything with him so that he would know what was going on in my life and I would know what was going on in his. We spent hours on the phone talking about everything. I longed to be with him. I wanted the distance to go away.
As I think about what gospel truth this might point to, I think of Christ as our Bridegroom. Ephesians 5:32 tells us that marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. We, as believers, are the bride of Christ. In the first century, a man and woman would be betrothed (engaged) and then the man would go and prepare a house for his wife before coming and getting her, marrying her, and taking her home. My understanding is that she wouldn’t always know exactly when he was coming, so she needed to be ready. In the same way, we as believers are to be ready and waiting for our Bridegroom, Jesus Christ, to return for us.
I got a taste of this longing and anticipation as I waited for my fiancé to arrive. And I still get a taste of this longing and anticipation on days that he works from the office. I wait and anticipate him coming home all day. I want to be ready to greet him at the door. And I have to ask myself: do I long for my great Bridegroom in the same way? Do I expect and anticipate his coming? Do I communicate with him about everything, pouring out my heart before him, telling him I am eager and ready for his arrival?
Unfortunately, I think the answer to that question is “not as much as I should.” But as I reflect on the months of long distance relationship, and all the longing and expectation that went with it, I can ask the Lord to grow in me a deeper longing and expectation for His coming.
For he is, indeed, coming. May you and I be ready when he arrives.